I unintentionally took the summer off from writing. I think about writing daily, but my life with my kids is all-consuming. I PRAISE JESUS FOR THEM! What a blessing my kids are, but my summertime mind felt like it was constantly buzzing.
Do you remember growing up and playing outside in the summer heat?
I couldn’t stand being hot & the summers could be blistering. The electricity lines would make this ungodly buzz that I couldn’t escape. It would make my head rattle. The air was either dry and dirty or hot and slimy. All the people are always STICKY AND STINKY! The heat had us all dripping with sweat, the bugs would fly up our noses & escaping the heat felt impossible. That’s what my brain has felt like lately. Buzzing & bug infested, a sweaty, humid, & extra squishy brain. As a child, occasionally, we would get a squirrel in the transformer, all the lights would go out & the air would clunk off! My grandpa would call the electric company. “Our electric is off. There’s a d*mn squirrel in there again!” The lady on the phone would ask if he was sure and he’d get mad and say, “I’m lookin' right at 'em!”
I feel like I’ve had my fair share of crispy squirrels this summer!! Many days this summer, I’ve felt like I was the crispy squirrel.
It’s incredible how FAST the past few months have flown by.
We had an excellent summer full of travel. We spent time with family here and there, traveled to the upper peninsula nearly to Canada, and went down to Tennessee to camp in the smoky mountains.
We did some hiking and some swimming and saw a monster truck show!
I’d say it was an awesome summer for our children.
My kiddos have since gone back to school. All of a sudden I felt like I had all this time. The buzzing stopped (for a moment…..) Then - BAM! - My nearly 2-year-old son started screaming and driving his toy trucks up the side of my face! What a rude reminder that I must stay on alert! (He’s the cutest little dude …. Such a boy!)
The first "free" day I did some cleaning.
The next I crashed & binged some worldly garbage TV. I then realized that I hadn’t really sat down to relax in months. It’s been almost 6 months since the accident. I haven’t had a moment to myself in what felt like forever.
Truly, I feel like I don't deserve a moment to myself. My brain says I should never complain as the accident was on my watch, so I deserved to “suffer” alongside my injured child. How dare I ask for a single moment to myself after what happened? I should be at everyone’s beck and call.
So, here I am. Trying to find my new routine/schedule for this next phase of life. I’ve been arranging fall activities & canceled the dance classes that my child is unable to attend. I’ve cleaned out closets to make room for new school clothes. I’ve done all the other daily mom stuff. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the dog crate, & prepping for supper. (The stuff that goes unnoticed most days but if it didn’t get done no one would know what to do!)
I’ve been working on some new blog posts and trying to determine my next steps for writing. Ideally, I would love to monetize my blog or do some freelance writing. My brain keeps telling me that I should supply our family with some income, but I can’t tell if that is a whisper from the devil or not. I know he would like for me to be distracted from my family. Who knows what’s to come?
I am trusting Jesus. ❤️
First and foremost is my family, before any outside work. We are a few weeks into the new school year, and all my children have already been sick. My current endeavors include a lot of disinfecting between washing the vomit and diarrhea-covered laundry. It's times like these that make me grateful that my work is in the home. Had I secured work outside the home, I would also have to find care for my children. I feel that my income would be a wash after paying for a sitter. My time with my children would be sacrificed. That is not a sacrifice that I am willing to make. I know God wants me to do something. What that something is, is not totally clear. But I am certain, for now, that I need to continue to write.
I shall persevere on this journey with Hello Dear. My next posts will include how Hello Dear came to be, my thoughts about marriage, life in my mid-30s, zombies, sex, & soul ties.
It might get weird.
The current state of the world leaves me feeling troubled most days.
But the trials that we are facing keep me on my knees. When I find myself on my knees, I am in the position to pray.
Pray, I will.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)
-Kelsey
Thank you for reading. 🙏🏼
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